Midnight Musings

On Identity

There’s a mindset or belief system out there that believes identity is something pushed onto oneself without one’s consent, popularized in memes like this. It frames labels as something done to oneself by others, that identity is somehow fictional or coercive; it stacks name, race, nationality and religion next to each other, and implies that resisting labels is somehow liberating.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

Every human being starts somewhere. You are born into a body, a family, a culture, a world that existed long before you did. Those givens are not acts of oppression; they are orientation points. They tell you where you are, what expectations exist, and how to begin making sense of yourself – and the world – in relation to others. Without that, you don’t get freedom – you get disorientation.

The human ability to categorize and label is what sets us apart from the animal kingdom. It provides a form of institutional memory and continuity. Before we can choose our identity for ourselves, it is provided to us by (hopefully) well-meaning caregivers, so that we have a stable foundation to build on. Much like pro builders erecting buildings after surveying the terrain, ensuring utilities connection, that the ground can take the weight; one does not build a highrise apartment building or office tower in a swamp, or on quicksand. We do not mock infrastructure for being imposed; It is a set of expectations – biological, social, cultural – that make cooperation, trust, and continuity possible. 

Now if a building requires renovation, different story, but the fundamental and foundational aspects overwhelmingly remain constant. Identity is similar. If one reaches a point in one’s life where that no longer works, one can change that. One can switch religions. Move to a different country. You don’t mature by burning it down. You mature by engaging with it consciously, refining it, accepting some parts, rejecting others, and understanding the cost of each choice.

The danger isn’t questioning identity; it’s pretending it’s fictional. When people claim all identity is arbitrary, what they’re really saying is that nothing is owed – no responsibility, no continuity, no accountability. But the moment you discard shared identity, you also discard the structures that allow societies to function at all. Categories are not cruelty.  Standards are not violence. Constraints are not oppression. They are how reality stays coherent. 

You don’t defend identity your whole life because it’s fake. You refine it because it’s real and consequential. And when an identity no longer fits you, the answer isn’t to torch the map and declare all maps lies. The answer is to acknowledge where you started, understand where, how, and why it no longer serves you, and choose your next steps without pretending the terrain disappeared. Identity is a beginning, not a sentence. It’s a declaration to the world who and what you are, a statement so others know how to interact with and relate to you.

Purpose & prosperity are not built by ripping out the load-bearing walls that clarify your identity for everyone else; they are built by owning and refining what we are, and discarding what no longer works for us. By standing on what came before, and choosing what comes next.

THAT is legacy.