Midnight Musings

This is a fictional story, but the patterns it describes are anything but rare – ones most people may recognize but rarely examine.

Once upon a time, there was a young woman who was by most rational metrics, considered conventionally attractive. With warm eyes, glowing skin, a proportional hourglass-type figure and a smile that can arrest all thoughts in a man’s head. This young woman found she enjoyed being complimented on her appearance, particularly online, where she was safe from predation.

Eventually, she developed a fan base and posted saucy images of herself online – no outright nudity, but lots of skin showing. Along with pictures of herself in faraway lands all over the world, as she documented her travels for her followers. Men all over the world would fall over themselves to compliment her on her beauty, and she would bask in the adulation of the chorus of admirers. She would revel in the attention while searching for a man worthy of her looks, even as guys would be all but fighting with each other for scraps of her attention. Yet for all the attention she received, nobody seemed to measure up. She continued to post suggestive imagery online, believing herself to be strong, independent, and empowered.

But despite it all, something seemed amiss, and the man she sought never materialized, despite countless offers expressing interest in her private messages.

Many a gentleman, also conventionally attractive, fit, powerful, ambitious and commanding his own brand of charisma and competence, perhaps acquainted with her followers, had crossed her path online. Seeing what he saw, he recognized the mismatch and silently turned away, declining to engage. He was no stranger to beauty and could acknowledge her attractiveness, but was not comfortable with her displaying her body so publicly. He remained steadfast in his belief that only her lover should see so much, and have so much more hinted at. Alas, as he did  not play the game, did not fall over himself, or compete with so many others, to shower her with praise and compliments, he was invisible. She did not see him, and because of her actions and behaviors, he never came to know her. And thus did a beautiful relationship fail to materialize, to the eternal regret of both parties. Neither was shallow. Neither was cruel. Both were responding to a system that rewarded noise over discernment and performance over presence. And so they passed one another in silence, each convinced the other did not exist.

Moral of the story: In a world where attention is mistaken for value and restraint is mistaken for indifference, people walk past each other – seeking depth through systems that reward display. What is lost is not attraction, but recognition.